26 Feb An Open Letter to Everyone Who Think They Know Better

Dear You,
(Yes, you, with your upturned nose, throwing disgusted glances my way)!

How are you doing in that “I-can’t-mind-my-own-business” world of yours?

Hope you are comfortable. If not, please make yourself so. Sit down and put your legs up. Because this is going to take a while, let me tell you upfront. 

You, who keep doing me a favour by telling me what’s right for me and what’s not, are not appreciated enough. Not that I needed you to tell me what’s wrong with me. I am quite capable of doing that myself.

But when you with your judging eyes and your myopic understanding of the world, specifically come up to me and point out my failures, it hurts. Not because you are right (In fact, it’s far from that) but because I struggle with an appropriate response at that time.

So, this is me telling you how much of a (dis)service you have done to me.

While we are it, let me grab the opportunity and go the whole hog here. Bear with me, Mr. Self-appointed Know-it-all, and brace yourself, because I too won’t pull any punches!

I love myself. Yes, I do; notwithstanding your negative comments and opinions about me.

The physical (even if extra-large), mental (the whimsical and eccentric mind I have) and the emotional (extremely so, to be honest) me. The mature and sensible me. The fun-loving and spontaneous me. The straight talker and the contradictory, confusing me.

I love myself beyond and in spite of all my inadequacies. In fact, I love that part of me, too.

I love that I don’t care being fat (Even if you with your ‘black coffee, no milk, no sugar’ think that that makes me any less a person)

“When we lose twenty pounds…we may be losing the best twenty pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.”
 – Woody Allen

You who think that if I am single till now there must be something wrong with me. Let me tell you that I love being single and am enjoying every moment of it.

Of course, I am keen to find love, yet am respectful and confident enough of myself to not accept just any man, especially one as thoughtless and narrow-minded as you. And, to be honest, Love doesn’t come to you on a silver platter or get served up on a buffet spread. It just happens, and for whatever reasons, it hasn’t happened to me yet.

And because, I know myself better than you do, I know that I am very friendly yet aloof and distanced. So, you with your perfectly coiffed hair, false eye-lashes, and acrylic nails may call me rude and ill-mannered but I take solace in the fact that the real me is nothing like that and these words can be attributed to that noisy, empty vessel that rests above your shoulders.
You tell me that with this attitude, I won’t find anyone. Pray so be it!
It’s a different matter altogether that the rudeness and arrogance that’s apparent at first meeting is enough to put off the wrong guys, but not those who choose to see what’s beyond that.

You, who are known to be insensitive, you tell me that I am too immature and kiddish. All I would like to say is that it’s you who are too stuck up and opinionated. Of course—not being judgmental would surely make you less of a man! Or woman!

I am carefree and spontaneous. That I can dance in the middle of the street without as much as a second thought to who may be watching is proof enough of that. (That I don’t actually dance in the street is proof of my wisdom, by-the-way!)
That I sing to my heart’s content despite being tone deaf and the most off-tune singer you could find, shows that I am content with myself and don’t need anyone’s permission to do something that makes me happy. Can we say the same about you?

Unlike you, I am the most non-judgmental person you will come across as well as the best agony aunt you could find.

“You’re either too fat or too thin. You just can’t win.”
– Natalie Imbruglia

I love that I give people the benefit of the doubt and generally believe in the goodness of the world. Tragic world incidents that prove the opposite do cause me pain and sadness (proves that I am compassionate, sensitive and human, contrary to what you have often told me) and I appreciate that there is sense of loss I personally feel, but I also love that such incidents are unable to make me a cynic or a hater. I love that I understand the realities of the world but I deliberately choose to keep my rose-coloured glasses on. (So, you can keep that ‘you’re so cut-off from reality’ comment to yourself)

I love that if there is something that I don’t like about myself, I get up and change it. Indeed, me having quit my job when it made me miserable is testimony to that and before you cluck your tongue at me being unemployed, let me tell you also that I haven’t ever been any happier as I have been these past 4 months. (So, if you think I am unable to adapt easily, you’re quite right—God help me if I have to put with you.)

I love that I am a rebel at heart, and my first reaction to what the world dictates is to not care at all.

“I hate overweight, because it implies that there’s a weight standard I should be adhering to.”
– Camryn Manheim

I love that you constantly share your opinions without a thought to the repercussions it may have; on my self-esteem in general or my confidence while I am trying something new. It’s commendable that you express your opinions without so much as a thought to its relevance, validity and accuracy. It’s great to know that you are so quick to jump to conclusions and pass judgements on people. Must take a lot of insensitivity and thoughtlessness to be able to do that. But what astounds me is that you think you are right and that your snide comments and nasty remarks are welcomed and valued.

Just to let you know, I am sensitive and your comments affect me badly. I brood, over-think, over-analyze and replay the conversation in my head (especially the ones that are so callously spoken) for hours wondering whatever gave you that right to be so petty-minded to deliberately hurt me or make me feel bad about myself.

Do you know that later I spend hours having an imaginary verbal duel with you in which I put forth my logical arguments and leave you speechless. So, thanks for giving me that opportunity too. I don’t do it while we are face-to-face, because unlike you, I do spare a thought for those around me and hesitate to say anything that may hurt or offend them, even if they don’t extend the same courtesy to me.

I love all of me, unconditionally. Because I can see the goodness in me and you can’t! And, that alone makes me a better person than you.

Here’s me thanking you for letting me know in no certain terms what an ignorant moron you are.
There’s so much more to a person than what meets the eye. And while you see me as fat or unemployed, I see myself as a fun-loving person who can make the best of any situation.

Here, take this multi-utility rope as a token of my gratitude. Since, you are so fond of reckless actions, you may need it when you climb that tower of self-appreciation to hang yourself. Then, we can take the same rope, tie you with it to a heavy boulder and dump you in the Mariana Trench. At least, the rope will be put to good use.

I shall praise my own self here. Because you, dear self-righteous critic, and self-appointed guardian of society cannot be trusted with such important tasks requiring selflessness.

Irrespective of how much you think otherwise, I believe myself to be intelligent and sensible with a good sense of humour. I am unemployed but not idle. I am fat but no couch-potato. I am single and not unhappy.

I am not living under a blanket of excuses and I am very much making the most of what circumstances and situations I am in. At least I am not sitting around whining away and finding faults with others, which is more than I can say about you. And I know how to mind my own business.

“I am my favourite person”

I am proud of me and if you are not with me, you are not my friend.

I am the best!

Regards and Best Wishes,
A real person with feelings