Mother’s Day? My Way!

Mother – the word conjures up many images in our mind, a multitude of emotions, a plethora of memories for each of us. Some of you may even have had two mothers; one, the biological mother you owe our life to and one, who raised you and loved you – a granny, or a trusted housekeeper or even an aunt – like her own children.

Often in our daily lives we forget to cherish them and thank them. Time and again, occasions like Mother’s Day remind us of our sheer folly. Time and again, we stop to correct our mistakes and thank them through various gestures. A quick phone call in the middle of the day to ask her if she needs her supply of medicines to be restocked or a hurriedly typed message to check if she is alright are all silent gestures of our love. Not gratitude but love. Exactly the same way that she loves and cares for us. Food prepared and kept in the fridge to satisfy those midnight hunger pangs or a generous slice of the cake saved for you, hidden away from the rest of the family, or even staying up late, waiting for you to come home from work. We fight, throw tantrums, fall sick keeping her awake all night, stay away from home for long periods, or even come home late and yet, she loves us unconditionally.

Mother, Oh Mother
I know, I’m such a bother.

But what would I be without you,
For you’re the one who completes me too.

I fight with all my might,
I forget you give me light,

When I turn away,
The hurt goes your way.

When I seek solace,
You forget, we were in a different place.

The fights, the pain, the lack of concern
May make your heart even burn

But you, and your love
Never will let me be a single dove

Just like one can’t survive without the other,
What would I be without you, Dear Mother.

Sometimes in the hurried pace of life, we do not even stop to thank her or to let her know how much we value and appreciate her. Then a day like this comes along. The world goes crazy celebrating motherhood. You jump on the train, wish her on Facebook, make plans for a celebratory dinner or even cook for her and give her a much-needed break. mother-child

You do know it isn’t enough. That it never will be. It is just a gesture. A very tiny one, but a gesture, nonetheless. So you go out of your way on this day to do special things for her.
Or you don’t. Because you’re far away. Sometimes your work or crazy hours don’t let you.
You just send a quick message. “Mom, I love you. Happy Mother’s Day.”
You may or may not post a picture on Facebook. If you don’t, you feel left out. You feel guilty about not caring enough.

If you do post a picture, however, it’s labelled as ‘showing off’. ‘Instead of this, you may have well taken out just ten minutes from your busy schedule to spend quality time with her,’ they scoff. And you feel more guilty. In all of this, the real issue is forgotten – celebrating the person that is your mother. She is your mother. Only you and she should decide how you both want to spend the day. If you’re busy, tell her and she will understand. If she is busy, be accommodating and that’s more than enough. No one else should have the right to pass comment or judgement on this.

This Mother’s Day I did nothing special for my mother. I wanted to but didn’t. Also, during the morning, she wasn’t home and throughout the rest of the day I wasn’t home. She stayed awake, way past her bedtime, waiting for me. She offered to cook dinner when I reached. I hated that. I should have cooked for her. I should have done something special. Instead, I was out the whole day and now, she was the one cooking for me. I hugged her tightly and told her there was no way I’d let her cook for me, that too at such a late hour.
She put her hand on my cheek affectionately and asked, “Are you hungry?”
I nodded meekly.
“Go, freshen up. I’ll whip up something,” she said and kissed me on the forehead.
That was it. That was our Mother’s Day moment. I had written a poem for her earlier (shared above), which she loved. But, other than that I did nothing for her.

It doesn’t make me any less of her daughter. It doesn’t make me any less appreciative and grateful for the sacrifices she has made for me. I can never repay the debts and I don’t ever intend to. I can’t lessen the value my mother has in my life by even giving that option a thought.

And I take strong objection to those who decide and judge what someone else’s mother would like or not like to do. Yes, ignoring her in real life while putting a fake status update or a photograph on Facebook isn’t okay. Neither is ‘you’ deciding a hug and kiss isn’t enough. It is the thought that counts. Let me be the judge of how I want to express my feelings.

Today morning, I saw this video that touched me deeply, and inspired by it I did what the video asked of me.

So, I changed my name. That was a gesture too.

As is this one:

I love you, Ma. Can never ever thank you enough for all that you do. 

No Comments
  • tasavur18
    Posted at 18:41h, 09 May Reply

    I must say this post made me nostalgic.. And yes, I am one of that person who post on Facebook about her mother.. Trust me, what you said is valid but what we do is not invalid.. Sometimes, we are away from our loved ones.. We do call them but thus status update is small token of love for them.. I cherish three ladies as mothers and I had to wish them.. I made my mom’s day special, met my other lady but the third one is away from me n Fb was the only way to connect to her.. So, I updated a combined status for all three.. You tell me, was that a show off??
    Hey..m not being rebellious here.. Its just everyone has their own theory to express their love and let them do it.. To be honest, my mommy loves it wen I flatter her on Fb.. For her thats different because she has seen my devotion infront of her.. So, to conclude, its all point of views and nothing can stop mei from saying, u wrote ur heart out in this piece.. Stay blessed.. Cheers!

    • Wandering Soul
      Posted at 19:15h, 09 May Reply

      Completely agree with you. When I showed the poem to my mom, the first thing she said was, “put it on FB”. It may or may not have been ‘showing off’. But the fact remains that she felt happy about it and wanted her friends to see it too. Don’t parents feel proud of their kids achievements and show off the certificates or medals to whoever comes home? So why not this?! Let them call it what they will, for us its a way of expressing our love and sharing it with our family and friends. You’re lucky to have 3 moms. If it is showing off, so be it. Show off proudly , I say. 🙂 🙂 Thank you for your comment and for visiting. 🙂

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  • Mysticalwriter
    Posted at 05:48h, 10 May Reply

    I have nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award

    • Wandering Soul
      Posted at 13:40h, 10 May Reply

      Hi Sherri, Thank you so much. I went award free earlier this year so wouldn’t be able to accept the award. But I am so grateful and thrilled that you thought me worthy of it. Thanks so much! Please know that I love reading your comments and value your support a lot. 🙂

  • Megha Agrawal
    Posted at 10:46h, 10 May Reply

    I see so much honesty in your words and your post touched my heart. I had not done any thing fancy like posting on FB or changing my Whats-app display picture. But that didn’t make me any less of a loving daughter. We all have our mother-daughter moment, thanks for sharing yours.

    • Wandering Soul
      Posted at 12:45h, 10 May Reply

      That by far is the best comment I’ve got. Thank you so much. Absolutely, Megha! Putting up a pic or not putting u a pic in no way is indication of how good (or bad) a daughter or son is. It’s to each his own. Thanks so much for your wonderful comment.

  • MindandLifeMatters
    Posted at 12:04h, 10 May Reply

    That was an emotional read! Love the video too 🙂

    • Wandering Soul
      Posted at 14:07h, 10 May Reply

      Thank you, Ra! Am glad you found it emotional 🙂

  • Nena
    Posted at 02:54h, 12 May Reply

    What a touching video!! I’m with you about it being the everyday small things that we say and do that make a bigger impact than highlighting on just one day.

    • Wandering Soul
      Posted at 06:49h, 05 July Reply

      Thank you, Nena! Sorry I missed replying earlier. 🙂

      • Nena
        Posted at 13:23h, 08 July Reply

        No problem;) hope you are doing well!

        • Wandering Soul
          Posted at 13:42h, 08 July Reply

          I’m very well, Thank you. How about yourself? 🙂 Excited about my short story being published in a book of short stories soon. I was so excited I even wrote about it on the blog. lol

          • Nena
            Posted at 04:39h, 09 July

            That’s amazing!! I’ll have to catch up on your blog soon:) it’s been a while since I’ve passed by. I’m doing well:) Just got back from vacation and now trying to catch up on things.

          • Wandering Soul
            Posted at 04:44h, 09 July

            In your own time 🙂
            I hope you have fun. Enjoy your vacation to the fullest. Those days are precious and in rarity. 😀 😀

  • xaranahara
    Posted at 04:47h, 12 May Reply

    What a great and true post. What a lovely poem. #happymothersdaylate

    • Wandering Soul
      Posted at 06:49h, 05 July Reply

      Thank you Sayre! Don’t know how I missed replying to your comment earlier. Sorry!

    • xaranahara
      Posted at 21:00h, 05 July Reply

      It happens, Piyusha. I mess up all the time.

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